And we were both walking the streets and I really didn't think this would happen but as my friend I walked towards his bar, he had started walking where we were at. When I saw him on the street, I'll be honest, my heart melted.
We were both caught red handed. And he said outloud, ' We were walking towards you.'
How do I describe the rest of the night? I was anxious and excited and happy that I had caught him in his tracks in order to clearly see me. Fucking elated I was. Soon, we were alone. And through more beers...we caught up. And to be honest, that was still blurry with beer. But it was still just us and it felt good when we were finally alone from the group. At one point I said "I miss you, like I don't mean to add any pressure, but I miss you still." and he said something to the point of understanding and missing me back but as far as anything else...I dunno, I was scared to question anything about it and that's the truth. If I remember right, and to be actually honest to myself, he actually said he still needs more time and got quite serious. Still figuring out his career life and what he wanted.
That was my cue for- appear around him more with situations that include heavy beer.
Though my libido wish I had, I should've pushed more, and said back 'stop fucking with me, just give me you or fucking let me move on' BUT AGAIN- even when I was drunk he still gave me some semi fuzed answer of acceptance which only angers me. AND he still texts me later checking up on me AGAIN. I know I've been drinking, but I'm not wasted now, when I ask my follow bloggers for help please?!! Is this a sign of hope or was he just being polite?
Also, with him there may be karaoke on Sunday night and he'll be there. But in the mean time I still said, "I miss you'... I'll act like it didn't happen right? And in between, make him realize even more while he sorts himself out- hell yeah- he's missing a lot.
In all honestly, the excuse of "I need to sort my shit out"- do we accept that?? Sometimes yes, I really do because one plus one is not two if it's broken. But on the other hand, we're fucking adults- grow the fuck up- and deal, no one ever has their shit figured out and we aren't meant to be alone.