Sunday, May 9, 2010

Two Words

Summer fling. I remember in college I thought a summer fling sounded so romantic and carefree and used to crave them like candy. Two young people just caught up in the sweat and heat of the summer, running around and not thinking about the future.

My first summer being 21 in NYC I met this British guy through a friend who was only in town for that summer, interning at Goldman-Sachs. His livings were totally paid for- and turned out to be in a two bedroom suite at the Madison Ave Affinia hotel.

We spent over two months drinking and eating at the best rooftop bars and running around the city, carefree.

He had just gotten his heart broken by a long term girlfriend and kept me quite emotionally distant. I had never had such intense attention and whoo-ing put on me before, and didn’t really know what I was doing. I thoroughly enjoyed waking up in his king sized bed, even though I had to take the LIRR ride of shame shortly after.

That summer though, I remember feeling like I owned that city, and I was at the top of the world. I was so in the moment, enjoying every experience and (maybe this is hindsight) but I don’t recall really second guessing myself. Sure I probably touched up makeup in the bathroom and triple checked my wardrobe before going out, but I didn’t look around feeling insecure.

In fact, I really don’t look around for approval. I was there, and young and felt like the opening doors were endless. I rode around in taxis as the sun was coming up and let the warm air carry me back to his bedroom with a big grin on my face. We weren’t soul mates, we were just there, together, experiencing the city as adults with no borders for the first time.

Now as an adult, it’s harder than it sounds to keep my overactive emotional imagination at bay...

And, I know not every summer can be a 21 summer but hell, here’s a good goal for the new me- why not try anyway? The worst that could happen-- a walk of shame or two.

Yes, the chances of heartbreak are high. But why worry about that now? Why not just focus on hitting all green lights in a taxi as the sun’s coming up, with a guy who doesn’t need to know my middle name.


  1. I'm catching up on your old entries and I had to stop to comment and say I love love LOVE this one. It is just written so well and so moving. Anyway. Back to reading! :)