I just had a nice night with him and listened to famous authors including Stephen Colbert read 'To Kill A Mockingbird'
Hell at the end of the night, I even had a slice of pizza and didn't feel guilty. We laughed, talked about Israel, books, movies, and overbearing Jewish mothers.
No talk of jobs or relationships- it was a fucking nice break.
My cousin isn't the only one I haven't seen the past year and lost touch with. Between my job and my old boyfriend, I lost probably a handful of close friends who either got legit mad at me for breaking plans or who just stopped trying. Rightly so. I'm not sure if I should try to ask for forgiveness or keep going. I might not be ready to fully explain how or why I lost myself.
I'm still getting to know the girl I was. The girl who wanted to finish the first draft of her novel five months ago, the girl who wants to get out of NYC, the girl who wants to be closer with her family and be in a job where she helps people. The girl who is always trying new things and doesn't turn down plans, the girl who loves making new friends and always looking for her next big adventure.
I don't know what my next chapter will be. Will it include him or not? I believe I can turn the page and not know. Argov says, I can and should. I'll finish her book and then maybe I'll believe her and push myself on.