Baseline

Argov is my new rule book and I will continue to follow it accordingly and not back down to be a doormat again. I am a cool, bitchy woman and I am fine without him.

(I now need to say that about ten more times)

BUT my ass apparently wants to contact him. I was walking over a to a friend's apartment last night to order takeout and as I was reaching in my purse to check the last text from my friend to get her apartment number, my hyper sensitive phone opened up speed dial and started sending him a blank text! I quickly hit cancel and it confirmed it didn't go through. Sigh of relief.

Less than ten minutes later, while I was updating my friend on the text-mishap Friday night (see previous post)...he texts me, and thus begins the scene:

Him: (7:19PM) Did you butt text me or is that a bad ass baseline?

Me: (7:23PM) Sorry, pocket dial.

Him: (7:25PM) Hoping for baseline.

And end scene.

In between this though, of course is me muddled and freaking out to my friend, trying to figure out what the hell a baseline is. We had no idea and looked it up and it's slang for start of communication. Am I the only one whose never heard this term before? One out of ten of my friends knew what this meant. Anyways language aside...

I followed Argov last night and played it cool, and instead of falling back into a bunch of one liner jokey texts that don't go anywhere, I closed my phone and said 'You know what, I'm having dinner with my friend, I'm not going to stop what I'm doing to get worked up as I spend the next hour decoding him."

And of course we talked about it for the next ten minutes and I called a couple guy friends for their thoughts. But I felt good about leaving it at that. No crying when I got home either :)

I'm really trying to wrap my head around the difference between holding back/playing games AND what Argov says- focus on yourself first and don't let your eyesight get blurry.

Today at work he was around the office a lot and sent me a couple emails, but I didn't respond right away and kept it short. I'm telling myself that it feels good to do this and focus more on myself (and ignore the whole massive loneliness factor), and maybe one day I'll have to stop telling myself that and I'll believe it without realizing it.

I have a friend who just got laid off and has mono. When it comes down to it, I know it's kind of bad to compare yourself to friends, but hell- at least I'm not her. The worst part- she got the mono from her brother. Wooh, I don't think Argov has a chapter on that one.