The kind that have been there for awhile but I'm just noticing because enough people have poked through my fog. I blame the warm, fake summer weather for bringing me up and then dropping me back down tonight.
I got caught up in it last week, drank too much and then got a stomach bug. My body decided to protest against each drop of liquid and food I tried to put into it for a full day. Note to future self- when you throw up in the taxi on the way into work, turn around. Fake it till you make it doesn't work when you're green and holding a barf bag.
I was out Friday night for a little bit at an industry party. A fifty-something year old guy hit on me. He asked for my number in front of a group of people I knew, so I felt awkwardly obligated to give it to him. He could've been George Clooney like ten years ago and in another parallel universe. Also, doesn't every gal have a fantasy of having a much older, experienced lover? I wasn't in the mood for drinking or keeping up my fake energy so I was in bed by 11. In the morning the older guy facebook friended me.
Not sure if he was trying to be 'hip' or what, but come on man! You're a decade away from retirement and yet when you have a girls number you still go web-friendly to get in touch with her? I mean, men were putting their coats over puddles when you were growing up so give me a break. Neadless to say I didn't accept and the request still lingers.
The rest of the weekend was quiet.
I dunno, maybe things are too quiet and it seems suddenly even all of my newly single friends are dating. I'm still in this lull of having nothing to write home about in my love life. Work is tolerable and going well. Family is drama free and content this week. Hell, I even made it to the gym this morning so I had the endorphines moving early.
Now there's this quiet, sullen pain I feel inside and I blame the warm, fake summer weather,
reminding me of all the fun outside, sunny times ahead. I want them all but I'm not ready mentally yet. I need a sign, a boost, a reassurance that my hand will eventually be taken out of my pocket and hold someone's hand.
Long story short (too late), I'm ready for someone to look me in the eyes with sparkly eyes again. I don't need love right now but I do need someone to help weigh me down every now and then when I'm feeling empty.