We talked and drank and laughed and it all felt so damn good. Way too good. Flash to five hours later and he was giving me a tight hug goodbye and in my slightly tipsy state I mumbled:
"It's hard not to feel things when I'm with you."
His reply was something like "I know me too, but I'm a train wreck."
I think all I did was say bye and walked away. About 20 minutes later I got a text:
him: It was good to see you.
my reply: Same here. Though I can't lie and wish things were different.
him: I understand but I hope you do too.
End scene. I spent the next twenty minutes throwing my work blackberry against my bedroom wall until it shattered into many, many pieces. And oddly enough it made me feel better. I woke up this morning feeling very numb with puffy eyes.
The truth is, I don't understand and I want to call him and say I thought we could hang out as friends, and I thought I could handle it. But I think I'm always going to be feeling more than you do.
What do you guys think? Should I leave it and be done with it or just call and put the final nail in this coffin?