' the one constant is that things change' and ' it takes more than love'.
I was woken up at 6 am this morning from my father sending me texts, giving me play by plays regarding a family situation that was evolving throughout the morning. So needless to say I had an early start. I mentally tucked away the family drama and moved on. We were short handed at work today so I got stuck dealing with one request and problem after the other. I didn't have lunch till 4.
I was cranky and busy but kept things going. I needed the busy. Especially after the recent bf stress.
At about 5 pm I get a call from V- my high school friend who just moved here to be with her bf. They've been together for 7 years and planned this move 3 years ago. He's two weeks from taking the bar exam and each day she's out looking for a job and apartment for the two of them.
They were my beacon. My logical, reasonable, in love, lovely couple. And today she called me crying, asking for a forever. How long could she stay with me?
I should've been surprised but I wasn't. I said of course and we made plans to meet.
Towards the end of the work day my old BF came up to me and asked what I was doing tonight, cause his friend just gave him two extra tickets to see Weezer.
I told him I needed to take care of a friend whose boyfriend just dumped her after seven years. He let out a sympathetic groan, winced and said sorry that's rough. I shrugged, turned back to my desk and said Yeah well, it happens.
Then I thought, perfect timing, you ass. I would've said yes if this situation didn't arise, but again, maybe it's good that I had an excuse.
She didn't explain till I met up with her after work but her boyfriend said she was adding stress to her life, she wasn't the same girl she was and he didn't want her around.
V is extremely strong and though she now has no backup plan and is in a city she doesn't know for a guy who doesn't want her, with no job- she kept on repeating last night 'I'm fine. I'm not devastated. I'm not drunk.' Of course the opposite was true. I think she's still in shock.
To have another heartbreak around me, is comforting, yet lonely. The air feels emptier and less hopeful. She's not cynical yet and not angry. I wasn't ready to take this on and I'm not sure what to tell her. I just kept on saying that she doesn't need to figure out everything in one night, and she can stay with me as long as she wants. Any other suggestions??
I've learned this though... that love is just one part of a relationship. There's love and then there's everything else. It's not my cynicism talking anymore, it's reality: love doesn't conquer all. Love is never enough.
I bet after he takes the bar exam, he'll beg forgiveness. It's not an excuse, but you're really not yourself when you take it. I've taken two and it was the worst thing I've ever done. Still, she deserves better than that. Is she staying put or moving home?
ReplyDeleteThis might be exactly what you need a partner to move on with if both of you can look forward together. There is a book, How To Get Over Him In Thirty Days you two should get a copy and go with it. Maybe?
ReplyDeleteUrgh, that's really rough indeed. I don't think the bar exam is an excuse, I took it twice and didn't freak out and dump my (at the time) boyfriend for it. But I guess everyone's different. Anywho, that's not even the point.
ReplyDeleteThe point is, you're right, being in love is not enough. I heard that it's "how well you fight" that makes a great couple so great, not "how well you get along". There's gotta be two people rowing this boat, she can't do it by herself .. if he wants out, it's best for the both of them to let him jump off. :)