Saturday, November 21, 2009

Time Wise

Sometimes I start semi-wigging out when I think about the length of time I've been dating him. My mind runs away from my head and I panic. Thoughts of where we should be in our relationship come rushing at me. All of the should's overlap each other and I can't think straight.

Should we be talking about our future at all? Should we talk about what we think about marriage and kids? Should we talk about if we'll both be staying in NYC for a big duration of time? Should we talk about me meeting his parents and coming to Christmas? Should we talk about that our one year anniversary is coming up quickly? Should I say it, or wait till he says it first? Should he have said it by now?

And I get to this point and then I tell myself to shut up.

I tell myself to talk to him about what I want to talk to him about. One big thing that sets this relationship miles a part from my past versions of relationships, is that I communicate and open myself up. I don't hold back. And when I start to panic and get the should's running through my brain, I need to remember that I'm doing everything right. There's nothing more I should be doing, cause then I'd be forcing it and not just letting it happen.

The funny thing is, I'm not thinking about these things without some kind of initiative from my friends, and that means I'm not thinking about them. Plain and simple.

And there's no need to add unnecessary pressure. That's been my motto since the start of this relationship. Just let it go. Trust it. And so far, it's all brought me to a really good place.

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