Spoiled Schedules

I've been realizing more and more that I've been a tad spoiled in my relationship by being able to see him every day at work. Seeing him first thing in the morning before I even finished my first cup of coffee became a nice routine. Having mid afternoon cookies left at my desk each day became an expected surprise. Checking in with him on my way out of the office was procedure.

And of course now things have changed. My company has moved to a new building but my department's portion isn't done being constructed so we're in a temp facility. So since we are now 20 blocks away from each other during the week, I don't get cookies or morning kisses. I'm such a winey complainer, I know. There are more important things going on in the world. But seriously, those little yellow Starbucks cookies are amazing- like little tiny pieces of fluffy clouds.

So I guess the problem is now we have to work to see each other outside of work. And our schedules have been polar opposites lately, so it hasn't been exactly a consistent schedule. We still have the weekends in LI thank goodness. I love having a break from the city and just bumming around with him. I dunno..since this is my first real relationship I guess I don't know what the average normal, time spending schedule is...should I be happy with weekends and a dinner during the week? Or push for more us time?

Potential Reason #1

During our first month of dating he told me that he's had two serious relationships in the past six years- both about two to three years each. His first ex girlfriend cheated on him with one of her exes and changed careers every three months, his second ex cheated on him with Louis Black and moved to LA to become an actress.

When I realized I wanted to tell him I loved him a couple months ago, I knew I should wait as long as I could for the sake of our relationship because:

A- after I tell him he'll expect me to start cheating

B- after I tell him he's not going to say it back

There's no doubt in my mind that he doesn't feel that same way. That's something that took me awhile to learn, when it's right and when it's working, you stop asking questions and you stop feeling doubt. It's a kind of security I had never felt before I met him. Before him, I was playing games, like everyone else single and twenty-something, but really what I was doing was not accepting the truth.

My 25th birthday and the holidays are coming up- who knows what I'll blurt out with too many spiked eggnogs under mistletoe...

Even knowing his past, I'm still not afraid to say it first. I'm not afraid, because I feel it and he deserves to know that, even only after 8 months in.