I picked up my third January half gallon of milk tonight, this year is officially moving along. It’s exciting but mostly scary that we’re almost into February. I’m realizing I have so many little habits that roll into bigger things that I just don’t like. I’ve been a talker and not a doer about making this dragon year different, so here's what's been on my mind.
I used to be able to get up and go to the gym every morning, and I haven’t done that in months...like months. My strict four times a week regiment has now slipped to one or two. My body feels different and I’m not a fan. It bothers me more then I want it to.
I used to read the newspaper every weekend but I still have a two week old paper sitting on my dining room table. Must remind myself that facebook is not the actual news. Seriously, I need to make it a weekly event and leave it at that.
I’ve told myself a hundred times that I’d start following politics, but when I tell you I have no idea what’s going on with the election, I’m not exaggerating. It’s like whenever the subject is within five miles from me I immediately want to read a comic book. Smiling and nodding in conversations is getting old. I'm a smart girl and yet this stuff bores the hell out of me.
I told myself I’d be open to love and dating and a relationship and blue birds and all the shit but when I think about my first JDate on Friday I start to mentally wine like a little kid. Inside I groan ‘But I don’t want to make a new friend. I want to play with the friends I have!’ I still haven’t confirmed time or place with him. Am I emotionally cock blocking myself?
I’m in my 20s and it’s not going to last forever. I need to have more fun with a capital F and take more risks. I feel like I’ve barely started this chapter and I’m already being pushed on to the next one. I want to have risque, gasp worthy stories. There’s absolutely no reason not to so what’s holding me back?
Why do I have this old-lady, homebody syndrome most of the time? Is it the winter blues or is the blockade around my heart literally cock blocking every angle to the point where I’m playing everything too safe?
I’ll take suggestions! My pen and paper are ready!