Monday, January 23, 2012

Fired Up

I picked up my third January half gallon of milk tonight, this year is officially moving along. It’s exciting but mostly scary that we’re almost into February. I’m realizing I have so many little habits that roll into bigger things that I just don’t like. I’ve been a talker and not a doer about making this dragon year different, so here's what's been on my mind.

I used to be able to get up and go to the gym every morning, and I haven’t done that in months. My strict four times a week regiment has now slipped to one or two. My body feels different and I’m not a fan. It bothers me more then I want it to.

I used to read the newspaper every weekend but I still have a two week old paper sitting on my dining room table. Must remind myself that facebook is not the actual news. Seriously, I need to make it a weekly event and leave it at that.

I’ve told myself a hundred times that I’d start following politics, but when I tell you I have no idea what’s going on with the election, I’m not exaggerating. It’s like whenever the subject is within five miles from me I immediately want to read a comic book. Smiling and nodding in conversations is getting old. I'm a smart girl and yet this stuff bores the hell out of me.

I told myself I’d be open to love and dating and a relationship and blue birds and all the shit but when I think about my first JDate on Friday I start to mentally wine like a little kid. Inside I groan ‘But I don’t want to make a new friend. I want to play with the friends I have!’ I still haven’t confirmed time or place with him. Am I emotionally cock blocking myself?

I’m in my 20s and it’s not going to last forever. I need to have more fun with a capital F and take more risks. I feel like I’ve barely started this chapter and I’m already being pushed on to the next one. I want to have risque, gasp worthy stories. There’s absolutely no reason not to so what’s holding me back?

Why do I have this old-lady, homebody syndrome most of the time? Is it the winter blues or is the blockade around my heart literally cock blocking every angle to the point where I’m playing everything too safe?

I’ll take suggestions! My pen and paper are ready!


  1. I think it's winter blues. It happens to the best of us! Kick yourself into gear. You can do it! Start going to the gym and watching CNN. Haha. I don't blame you about the election--awful. And working out is hard. I went to yoga tonight for the first time since December.
    Do one thing tomorrow that's a risk. Just start small!

  2. Exercise will help with a lot of what you're feeling. So knock a few things off your list by changing gyms, or signing up for a new class at your gym, hiring a personal trainer for a month. You'll have more energy. You will be motivated because you're doing something different, meeting new people and you'll feel better about yourself to boot.
    Whenever I get the winter blahs (and I live in the Pacific Northwest, can you say grey) I change my work out. It helps me, hope it helps you. I'm doing some heavy weight lifting this month, my butt already looks better and I'm taking off those Christmas cookies and I'm going to be ready to start lowland hiking in the next six weeks! I don't know if it motivates you but I am goal oriented and I'm REALLY big on treating myself when I reach one. New shoes if I am ready in six weeks!!
    You can get out of this rut! I don't know where you live but sunshine and Vitamin D are important to prevent/treat winter depression. I use an artificial sun lamp and take extra D from October to April and it has helped.

  3. Sounds like the winter blues. I think its a January thing personally, I even talked about this kind of thing with my friend the other day. How January seems so boring, lackluster and makes me feel like a hermit. I think exercise would help, I hate that it works that way because its the last thing you want to do, but it does get those feel good hormones working.

    Oh and dates I am usually against going on have always turned out to be pretty good for me.

  4. Meh, eff the exercise. Go to a bar with your bestie and split a bottle of wine. :) What?