I have a friend whose amazing at quieting my occasionally enraged ego and bringing me back down to earth. I've been a little on edge getting back into the groove of things after experiencing such a big, outer world for 10 days. Now I'm back in my inner, focused life, where everything is as I left it. And I'm realizing I need to take slightly more control of how things are. Letting go of some baggage and getting more of what I want. Parts of my life outside of work feel like there's no there, there. I'll admit, mostly social aspects and in my love life. I want to feel filled constantly, not just 10 days at a time with a passport.
My friend reminded me today that what we have now and currently are is the blessing we should appreciate. Everything else is extra and doesn't need to be focused on. The 'But I wants' and 'Shoulds' are just us battling ourselves. The head fighting the heart.
Too many times we're given blessings to be thankful for that we can't see right in front of us. Like the story of that guy whose town is flooding and he's waiting for a miracle to be saved and he doesn't see all the chances that are in front of him. The truth is that our happiness is left in the hands of us. We get handed toilet paper over and over again, but most of the time we don't realize it and it's only us that can wipe our own ass.
There's what we do and not do, what we ask for or wait for, happy or accept part of sadness. All one common factor- the self.
I've been catching up on the blogs and my own life since I've been away and everyone seems to be unhappy with what's in front of them. Pissed off at friends, left by loved ones, overlooked at work. What are we missing that we can't lead with our hearts and go after what we want to be content with what we have and are?