That at the end of the work day today I emailed my closest friend and said, 'Make sure I don't drink a lot this weekend because I've been getting really emotional when I drink and I want to stay out of therapy if possible."
Jump to less than 5 hours later when I'm throwing up in a bar bathroom for over 20 minutes, making yet another fabulous impression on a semi stranger, this time a new coworker who I needed to pour my heart out to after six vodka pineapples.
His name comes up of course more than three times that night because I'm in fact with all females he's worked with in the past year, which only makes me drink faster.
One girl actually said "He's an awesome guy and I'd date him if I was attracted to him"
Silence on my part.
The night ends with me stumbling out of the bathroom and the last girl I was with saying something polite like "You're great, we should get drinks again, I think you needed a good vent night, call me tomorrow. I need to go meet people."
And then when did bacon with a side of potato pancakes and milkshake and crying become my go-to drunk food?
So about half hour ago when my stomach was twirling from all the crap I stuffed into it,
I realized- no more drinking for a long while. Maybe this means therapy wins.
But I need a break from this lovely pattern.