Missed Habits

I'll confess- the one thing I miss about being single, the one thing that I'd do constantly and happily, with no guilt...mainly so I wouldn't have to work out in the morning...smoke Marlboros.

It's not even that I get cravings anymore, it's just that I miss the act of smoking and it's delightful, easy effects. I know- can we say denial?

But to rebuttal myself here- snuggling and sex has replaced those old nasty habits...which also used to include tequila and snoozing.

Because really, who wants to get sloshed when you have some late night sheet rumbling to do?
And who wants to hit the snoozer in the AM when you're being woken up in order to have a surprised happy morning?

Dear Diary from May 16, 2007

"Okay, I've met:

the emotionally damaged South Bostonian,

the horny aggressive Jew,

the shy older pizza delivery guy,

the emotionally vain actor,

the insincere senior,

the cheats on girlfriend drummer,

the out of towner Irish man,
the out of towner surfer Virginia Beacher,

the tequila drinking one night only Italian architect,
the horny aggressive iBanking Jew,

the just want to be friends emo guy,

the sensitive southern guitar player,
the i can't be sober when I'm with you long islander,

the horny mother's boy blind date jew,
the i'm different from the others film crew guy,

the i may or might not be single T.A,

the sarcastic flirting is a sign of verbal abuse

but there's something about your smile coworker,

the great date but won't call you ever again cameraman,

the i only find your number at 2am trust funder,
AND the I'm not gay six-appletini flight attendant,

All I'm asking for is to meet a guy

whose not gay,

who isn't from out of town,

who doesn't want a fling,

who doesn't have a girlfriend,

whose not a coworker,

who can legally drink and

who can buy me a beer, tell me I'm pretty, pick up the fucking phone

and call me the next day."