Sunday, August 12, 2012

De- Exed

You ever realize you aren’t sure what you’re doing but can’t decide if you like it or not? 

I guess we need these challenges to help us differientiate between life’s small problems and big problems. We typically solve the small problems quickly without more than a second blink in its direction. The bigger ones like to sit and stir and get pushed around.
It’s rude and annoying really. Different solutions need to stop sprouting up. Everything should remain black and white, enough of this mucky grey (gray?) business it hurts my head.
I can never remember which one is the color...

Anyways, obviously talking about the guy here...the new old guy. What’s a revived ex that’s not yet defined as a boyfriend yet? At the very least out of exile right? (bah dum ching)

I have two schools of thought on this one, so let me know where you sit Dear Reader. 

We’ve been non-definably dating for about a month now and in touch everyday. Sometimes we just joke and other times we talk. All text and email.
(I scowl at modern day technology. I never use my phone as a phone anymore. Can we please star a revolution to get the phone call back??)

This past week I was out of town on family duty. Nothing serious or major, just going in for support and assistance. 
He doesn’t know details yet of what my family dynamic has been like the past few years (note: heavy).

We haven’t dealt with really any real life stuff outside of talking about ‘us’ back on the 4th of July. 
Since then it’s been flirting, banter and and dating. 
All the good stuff. (cheers from the crowd!)

BUT...(of course there's a but)
A couple times when we were out I noticed he was texting a girl he used to hook up with. 
Not a pretty girl either, that would almost sit better with me. But this girl is a pile of a girl. 

MEN- I know it’s hard to do, but when you pick those girls to slut around with after a relationship ends, please attempt to trade up. Cause when we meet them down the road (AKA facebook stalk) it’s an insult to us knowing that the penis was in both places (paradise...and then a trash dump).

Anyways, I saw her name pop up a few times while we've been out. 
I couldn’t see the texts. 
He says he’s not sleeping with anyone else but it’d really skeeve me out to find out they were still sleeping together. 
Maybe they’re just dating and not sleeping together
or maybe she’s dating someone else now and they just text? 
Pipe dream? Beuller...?

Again, we aren’t exclusive so he can technically do what he wants and lie to me about it. 
But then it’s a question of respect and all that jazz. 
And I'd be pissed if he didn't tell the truth and turn green and grow and beat him up cause even getting here was hard.

SO- I have 2 options or more if you wanna chime in team. 
  1. ignore any and all texts from females I see and continue to feel amazing when I’m with him and take it all day by day. And work towards trusting him just as things are. And perhaps shack up with the Brit if there’s more reason to thing he is sleeping with other girls. *But for pete's sake (and mine) get tested first cause who knows where his pepe has been.
  2. open up a little bit and explain that between work and the occasional family drama, I don’t have time to wonder about all the above things and nor do I want to, so we’re either going to lock this thing down and be exclusive or not cause I'm a busy girl and don't like taking up the Sunday brunch table with this silly stuff Bridget Jones would scoff at. 
And go!


  1. That's a tough situation. I think option 2 is the best, but maybe implement a bit of option 1 with trusting him more and get tested! Good luck!

  2. Option 1. He used to constantly text you and arrange meet ups with you, even though you're his ex and he was dating other women. It's obviously just the way he is: one of those guys that remain friends with many women he's hooked up with or dated. He'll even continue to hang out with them on a one-to-one level. I call such friendships: the harem.

    Grin and bear it, as I think it's harmless friendships.

  3. Pffft, if he WAS sleeping with her, and now he is sleeping with you, then why even talk to her?

    Lock that shit down and figure out now if he wants to be exclusive. If he is really serious, then out of respect for you he will stop talking to her. If he is not ready, then he will throw a fit a la Aquaman style and you'll know where you stand.

  4. I agree with Danielle. Best go with option 2 and to talk about it now rather than later. These situations are tough. You will manage though.