Friday, November 9, 2012

The After (the vodka edition)

I wish there was a book that explains that after part of love.  
And maybe I’ll have to write about it one day, if I make it far enough into it.
From my experience in between tweets and texts...I really don’t think anyone says ‘And do you love me’ anymore...and then break into song about being married for twenty-five years with Jewish daughters. (Fiddler on the Roof for those who missed it.)
Most of us forget that men and woman think completely different of each other. 

Not even an easy, multi-equation polar opposite...but according to Venus and Mars...different. 
And when drinking is involved, the difference gets bigger.

But both of us learn grammar the same.
So when midnight chimes on a Friday, 

while standing on a crowded platform 
and a vodka filled girl (ahem, me) says these words: 
“So...I’ve been thinking about the us...and I didn’t want to be the one to talk about the we. But I want to know your’s been 4 months and we’ve been hanging out as a we...but as an us. I just think we should. I didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. I hate talking about the we...” 

...I wish I was paraphrasing but I think that’s almost exactly how I brought up the inevitable conversation.

He looked down at me as the train was coming and held me closer. There was a smile in his voice when he spoke next.
“I really don’t think this is the time or place for this.”

I knew he was right but I hated that I was wrong since I had been (over) thinking about it so much. 

I pouted and probably swayed a little to make sure I was still standing.
He asked me what I expected him to say right then and there.
“Something simple, something neat and simple and quick. I hate talking about this.”
I explained in between subway stops as I bumped against him.
I made a drunken sad face, immediately regretting whatever I said, “Did I even make a full sentence?”

He kissed me and kept hold of me.
“Don’t freak out. This just isn’t the place.”
I moved my facial expression a hundred times.
“Don’t freak out. I’ll talk to you soon.”
He kissed me again and again. I didn’t want to let go.
“Your mom is in town tomorrow. We’ll talk. I’m kissing you to reassure you that it’ll be OK.”

I kissed him back and let go...


  1. What the fuck? Its so easy. What is there to say? I know you guys have history, but all he needs to say is that he wants to be with you, or that you are his girlfriend right?

    Physical activity as reassurance isn't ever reassuring to me. In my experience a man is always willing to do anything physical to get out of talking emotional.

  2. I've been you before. I know that glad/miserable feeling. It's deep in your stomach and he's said he's kissing you to reassure you, but you're not reassured.

    I agree with Je m'appelle Danielle and "what the fuck? what is there to say?"

    I hope he has something amazing - and positive - to say when he talks to you as he promises. It's a shit thing to do if not.

  3. I agree with Danielle too, it should be easy unless he wants to propose to you and didn't want to do it on the subway!