Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Pick Me Up Before You Go-Go

Best pickup line I heard recently came from the guy I was sitting next to on an Amtrak Sunday night. “Well...it’s not like I’m married.”

This was after we spent almost three hours flirting/verbally abusing each other.

Note to all future guys who sit next to me on trains or coffee shops: the more I make fun of your tattoos, job, hometown or music taste = the more I like you. I abuse you and make you wonder if I like you and then charm your pants off by quoting Caddyshack or My Cousin Vinny. Then I pull out my Jane Austen book and really keep them guessing. You’ll be in love with me by the time I start mentioning my love for Jack Daniels.

(Side note: BUT will you call/text me is the cliffhanger, mind boggling question.)

We talked and flirted and winked and glanced at each other and at one point I noticed the annoyingly cute photo booth picture of him and a chick on his iPhone. When we were up at ground level, hesitating around each other, I mentioned it. And he came back with that line above. Guess who walked away with my phone number?
I reassured myself with a phone call to my mother who said “Well maybe you’re the one who will steal him away.”

Yes, my mother is routing for me so much that I’m not scolded for hitting on a guy whose involved. I think if he had a ring on she would still tell me to put me hair down and go for it. Maybe even buy him a drink at the cafe cart.

I’ve been ignoring all three sirs mentioned here and they’re still contacting me on a regular basis. Can anyone tap into the male psyche for a hot second and fill me in.

What’s up with that? Can’t you just let a girl go pine elsewhere and flirt with unavailable men?

Haven’t heard from Amtrak guy of course. But do I have a cat video in my inbox from my ex? Of course! Side note: not a euphemism. 


  1. I think with the 3 misters its exactly the same thing you wrote on one of my posts, they are not involved with anyone and they will act like you are there fill in girlfriend for fun times when they are alone. Thats how it will be until they find the next girl.

    Kudos for not giving in though! Very admirable, I need to start doing that.

    As for the "Well its not like I'm married" ummm, yeah, you're not married, but you have made some kind of commitment to someone. Guys are so shady sometimes (okay pretty much all the time)

  2. I knew getting my sleeve of tattoos finished before summer would come in handy!