(especially after make out #2 with the old bf on my birthday)
Ahem, what? Moving along...
It is so soft and genuine and caring and innocent. I wanted to scream and cry at the same time. Stop time and fast forward. I had proof of life in my hands. Proof of magic and a bundle of love.
The proof I've been looking for, to restore my faith in the fact that there is something next. Even though, for me- I don't know what that next is. There is something 'other' besides occasional heartbreak and constant disappointment. There's potential.
And it's not easy. In short, it's mindblowing. To accept that what I held in my arms was full of so much. It was thinking and dreaming. It was scared and happy. It's 19 inches and at the beginning stages of life. I've never witnessed this before. And it's absolutely breathtaking, to the point where I'm elated and squeaky.
Though we may always need the occasional EX boyfriend to kiss us on our birthdays or random out of towner for a one night stand, or a deep long lasting crush that may never get returned- the true story of love begins with an inch of potential, an inch of life that only we can recognize.
I see that potential in her- an entire new beautiful force that can give and take, explode and destroy all the love she wants. And it's not terrifying and I don't want to analyze it, it's beautiful.
Today, I recognized and believed in 19 inches of that potential in my amazingly adorable first niece.
If you ever have the chance to witness a newborn joining us in this dizzy world, take it. You'll literally see, everything differently. And it will be lovely.