I’m really starting to think there’s something in the universe that just doesn’t want me to be intimate with the BF.
I met him after a beach day with friends this weekend and was looking forward to some quality time, if you know what I mean. Within an hour I realized my chest and upper thighs were bright pink and not in a sexy way.
And just like that, my mojo had burned in the sun just like the first layer of my skin had. Our activities remained PG the rest of the weekend- minor league baseball game, bumming on the couch and seeing Monsters University. (highly reco the movie btw).
On the train ride home I was frustrated. Yes, my burn was uncomfortable but a part of me thought I could still initiate the intimacy with him and just suck up the discomfort. Another part of me thinks that getting a burn was a sign that I wasn’t fully ready for a bedroom date with him again.
As mentioned it’s been months since we were fully intimate due to life happening and I want our physical time together to be when we’re both feeling good in our bodies- but that hasn’t happened in awhile. We’re just getting back into the swing of things and not having hospital talk in every conversation.
It’s been a challenging year so far and my fear is that these dips will control the year and we’ll still be in this limbo months from now.
I thought I was out of it a few weeks ago and feeling better but then I got laid off and now I have a sunburn. Okay, in comparison the sunburn really doesn’t matter and isn’t as roadblocking as the surgeries we had- but I guess what I’m saying is, I’m ready for some flat road with no dips. Just for a little bit so I can at least have a bedroom date and feel like a girl again. Then, sure- bring on more dips once I can get my full footing without feeling like a lobster.