I’m really starting to think there’s something in the universe that just doesn’t want me to be intimate with the BF.
I met him after a beach day with friends this weekend and was looking forward to some quality time, if you know what I mean. Within an hour I realized my chest and upper thighs were bright pink and not in a sexy way.
And just like that, my mojo had burned in the sun just like the first layer of my skin had. Our activities remained PG the rest of the weekend- minor league baseball game, bumming on the couch and seeing Monsters University. (highly reco the movie btw).
On the train ride home I was frustrated. Yes, my burn was uncomfortable but a part of me thought I could still initiate the intimacy with him and just suck up the discomfort. Another part of me thinks that getting a burn was a sign that I wasn’t fully ready for a bedroom date with him again.
As mentioned it’s been months since we were fully intimate due to life happening and I want our physical time together to be when we’re both feeling good in our bodies- but that hasn’t happened in awhile. We’re just getting back into the swing of things and not having hospital talk in every conversation.
It’s been a challenging year so far and my fear is that these dips will control the year and we’ll still be in this limbo months from now.
I thought I was out of it a few weeks ago and feeling better but then I got laid off and now I have a sunburn. Okay, in comparison the sunburn really doesn’t matter and isn’t as roadblocking as the surgeries we had- but I guess what I’m saying is, I’m ready for some flat road with no dips. Just for a little bit so I can at least have a bedroom date and feel like a girl again. Then, sure- bring on more dips once I can get my full footing without feeling like a lobster.
I would think passion would trump sunburn, stitches, a lobotomy...
ReplyDeleteI think passion is passion. Where there is a will there is a way. People are intimate through tragedy, accidents, and major physical disabilities. Perhaps a little discussion about it may help? Everyone has different sexual needs, but I always feel that one of the bonuses of being in a relationship is the lack of sexual frustration because I have someone willing to share the bed with me from time to time. Good luck with everything, I know it all soon will pass. I love reading your posts!
ReplyDeletePerhaps you're expecting to much from it? Or have such high expectations that the reality won't live up to the fantasy and that could be warding you off?
ReplyDeleteHope the sunburn heals fast! Mine never do, and I end up peeling because I'm so damn pale to begin with. Ugh stupid sun.