On my tip toes

I took three days to pick the restaurant. And once I stopped overanalyzing it, I picked a great little Italian restaurant downtown- casual, cozy, moderately priced and good people watching.

Overall, the second date with C didn’t feel like a second date. It felt like we were in a relationship and had been together for weeks. I don’t have nervous butterflies but I like spending time with him and feel relaxed. He’s attentive, funny and smart. He listens to me and is outgoing and confident without being arrogant.

I took him to the oldest bar in the city which he had never been to. I’ve been there a few times and it’s always a good go to. There’s saw dust on the floor, only 2 kinds of beer, 1 waiter and they pack in the tables with people. It’s my kinda place.

We spent hours at the bar so our table got rotated out with people a lot. I liked being close to him and leaning against his side as more people sat down. His arm slid around my back to take ownership over me when more men were at the table then girls. I didn’t mind.

Last call came and went. We were outside on the sidewalk and he kissed me. He said he’d been waiting all night to do that.

It all felt familiar. The old BF had said the same thing to me after our second date. He came into my head for a moment then, but the thought was blank. I simply thought ‘I’ve been here before.’

C and I made out on every street corner along the twenty block walk back to my apartment. He told me he wanted to see me again as soon as possible. We kissed a lot more. In different ways- hard and heavy and deep, and then slow and soft. It all felt familiar. ‘I’ve been here before.’

I couldn’t let myself go. I couldn’t let him upstairs. I didn’t put my guard down. The last time I let someone in, my guard had been down and he still wanted me. He saw me at my worst. He saw my uglies and still wanted to hold my hand through a crowd. C was holding my hand on the second date.

It feels out of order. I want to be here. But right now it feels like I’m tiptoeing into this new thing, when I’d rather just be more grounded. I want to know what I’m getting in to.

So there's that...

Yeah, he likes me. But for 15 minutes I thought I was being stood up.

I sat at the bar playing angry birds and waited...wondering if I had the strength to sit at a bar and not drink. Fifteen minutes was going to be my cut off and his. At 8:15 he texted, wondering if we were still meeting. I paused. I walked outside and he was standing there.

“I thought you were standing me up.” he said with a smile. He was just as cute as I remembered. I guess manners do exist.

We went back inside together and got seats outside in the patio. Just as it started to get dark, tea candles started being lit around us.

The mood was set and the Blue Moon was delicious.

We talked and talked. And laughed and leaned in to each other. His eyes did this whole twinkling thing and he had a really great smile. We talked about everything from our favorite numbers to childhood enemies to the importance of writing what you loved.

After round three, we agreed to do one more. We both drank slower, the crowd was emptying out. There hadn’t been more than a few beats of silence in hours, and they were comfortable beats. They closed the patio so we moved inside. I smiled up at him as our beers got lower.

“One more?” I asked cautiously.

“I’m glad you said that cause I’m not ready for the night to end.”

Yeah, I like him.

It was late when we stepped outside on to the street. He gave me a slow, easy kiss. I smiled into his lips. I reached up and put my hands around his neck. I like his height. He’s the good kind of tall. We kissed more and just hard enough to know that it worked.

“I want to see you again.” he said more then once when we stepped back.

I was buzzing. I exhaled. “I want to see you again too.”

“Good.” he said and kissed me again.

We walked in different directions to get taxis. Alright, so technically I had to go in the same direction, but I didn’t want to mess with an exit like that.

He texted me tonight. And said again, that he wants to see me. I like having it in writing, in black and white when I’ve been so used to gray.

Date #1

Maybe I'm finally getting in tune with the universe or maybe the universe is reading my blog.

In either case, I met a guy last Wednesday at an industry karaoke party. He sang Friends in Low Places twenty minutes after I did... better. He came over to me and apologized for the biggest offense in karaoke law. He said he didn't pick that song and it was a computer malfunction. I told him it was okay since our versions were very different from each other anyway...he did the whole 'singing on key' thing while I ventured away from that route.

(I'm charming, I know)

We talked for the next hour. We both think Friday nights are meant for staying in and doing nothing. We work in the same industry, not in the same office (whew).

Getting drinks Wednesday at 8pm. He picked the time and place. He has a good head of hair and is at least 5'10. I'll let you know about which version of GF he likes.

It's been over 2 years since I've been on a date. I'm not nervous, just finally ready. What can I say? My cynicism kinda took over for awhile and it was just recently I told it to F off and leave me alone.

Let's Get Real Personal

I’m looking for a guy (28-35) with a head of hair, who knows what he's doing in the sack and doesn’t mind that I don’t cook. Must have an opinion of Indiana Jones, Star Wars and Batman. If you like Godfather 2 better then 1 don’t both replying. If you have to know one thing about me, know that I’ll never be able to decide between Caddyshack or Bridget Jones Diary. If you have to know something else, know that I’m not sure if I believe in love but that I want to. I’m good at being guarded and I’m annoyingly independent. But I’ll want you to hold my hand and open the door for me. I want to be in a relationship, but know that I need help getting there again. You can have less stamps on your passport then me but don’t have none. Must be able to understand conversational sarcasm. Also, know that I can identify any quote from Buffy. Please be 5'10 or higher and occasionally read a book.